Zippy MacPhee comes roaring up the trail, at breakneck speed, to the water tower. It's a classic BIKE GOD moment that we've all seen many times before. The difference today is that the trails are soggy and slippery with mud. The BIKE GODS can't wait to get to the good stuff!

Air Mapster stops to do a quick mud check. The tire tread is full of mud and debris, just the way we like it. Looking good!

Zippy MacPhee easily slams through a series of massive puddles, leaving nothing but wake and destruction in his path. It will take a long time for these trails to heal their massive ruts, and that's a good thing. More ruts means more difficulty; we wouldn't have it any other way.

For an extra challenge, Zippy decides to get off the bike and run through the deep, deep muck at top speed.

Those guns are no match for a BIKE GOD running his bike through the waterlogged sand. Z-Mac's thundering footsteps send these heavily armed insurgents running for the hills.

A second mud-check confirms that there is still a sufficient amount of sludge, muck, and mire on Air Mapster's bike.

Meanwhile, Zippy's mud-blood-check also passes the test, showing plenty of both as a result of today's incredible ride.

What's this? The bollards have been locked behind this gate, undoubtedly to protect them from that tribe of rabble-rousers back in the hills. Thankfully, this won't stop the BIKE GODS. They have a plan...

In a span of just 1.52 seconds, Zippy MacPhee hoists himself up and over the fence. His quick, cat-like climbing abilities are almost Johnsonian, truly inspirational to watch. Air Mapster then tosses the bikes over to Z-Mac, before executing the same astonishing maneuver himself to get to the other side.

Just minutes later, the BIKE GODS complete the 5-mile trek through the streets, back to the parking lot.

The final mud-check of the day shows a very satisfying result. Considering that this bike was squeaky clean before the day's festivities began, we can only conclude that it was a very successfully mudful ride.