- Air Mapster
- Zippy MacPhee 40
BIKE GOD Theatre
Yeah, when I get time.
Displaying his incredible BIKE GOD might, Zippy MacPhee breaks a piece off of his bike. Just because he can.
BIKE GOD Power!
Although they could easily fix the bike themselves, the BIKE GODS decide to have a little fun and head down to the local bike shop. Do you think the shop employees will be able to keep their composure when they realize that actual BIKE GODS are in their store? This will undoubtedly be a once in a lifetime event for them, something they'll gather 'round the fire to tell the grandkids about.
Zippy is surprised to find himself being treated like a normal customer. The cashier begins to ring him up as if this were a normal, everyday purchase. Is this some kind of a joke? No, just a BIG mistake.
The Zipster calmly leans over the counter and pauses for just a moment. He looks the unsuspecting shop lackey in the eye, his gaze piercing like a laser beam, and gathers all his BIKE GOD strength. Time slows to a crawl.
Suddenly, he bursts into a raging fit. "Don't you know I'm a BIKE GOD?!?" he bellows furiously, displeased at the lack of recognition and respect shown here. The tirade continues for the next 33 minutes, as everyone else in the store stands frozen in sheer terror.
Zippy MacPhee finally calms down, and the BIKE GODS leave the store with one fixed wheel — on the house. It's time to hit the trail!
Without any further delay, they're off!
Air Mapster doesn't get into many photos.
Byondo catches up after stopping to perform a good deed for another rider on the trail. When not raging at poor bike shop salespeople, the BIKE GODS are a very charitable bunch.
But their intra-BIKE-GOD feuds can be legendary. Byondo and Zippy aren't on speaking terms right now, as they had a little argument on the way up over who was supposed to wear red today. Is this the start of another one for the ages?
Air Mapster doesn't get into many photos.
Zippy MacPhee brazenly ignores the arrow on the sign, choosing the monstrously difficult up-hill path instead. Only a BIKE GOD could do this!
He quickly reaches the summit, a place where no humans have ever gone without significant motorized assistance.
Byondo follows Zippy into the mountains, still ticked off and sulking over the red shirt fiasco. His thick BIKE GOD blood seethes under the surface, boiling like the magma in a rumbling volcano about to blow. Zippy's already on edge from his earlier outburst at the bike shop. A perfect storm is brewing...
The BIKE GODS take a moment to enjoy this temple erected in their honor. Zippy MacPhee notably refuses to sit next to Byondo.
The long silence is broken as the squabble erupts with ferocious intensity.
Zippy MacPhee explains that he thought all BIKE GODS were going to wear red today.
Byondo quickly retorts that that would be stupid because Air Mapster always wears yellow. If anything, Byondo snidely replies, Zippy should have worn green to complete the traffic signal triumvirate.
So why wasn't Byondo (sarcastically referred to in this verbal volley as "Mr. Smarty-Pants") the one who should wear green, Zippy asks?
Duh, Byondo spits back with great disdain, everyone knows that it's bad luck to wear green if you were born on St. Patrick's Day.
You can't be born on St. Patrick's Day when the holiday wasn't even created until thousands of years later, Zippy counters.
The awkward silence returns, as both BIKE GODS attempt to appear cool and casual, gazing off into the distance at nothing in particular while pretending to ignore each other. The tension in the air is palpable. Their faces betray the repressed anger that remains bottled up inside.
Sensing an unmistakable rise in hostility levels nearby, a squirrel attempts to smooth things over by doing a little happy dance on a nearby log. Byondo and Z-Mac can't help but crack a quick smile, but both are quickly enraged by the fact that they let down their guard. What good is it to have a heated dispute if you can't hold a grudge afterwards?
Did the squirrel-dance work? How will Byondo and Zippy resolve their red-shirt run-in? Tune in next week to find out!