Contrary to popular belief, the BIKE GODS do not possess extraordinary talents in all endeavors outside of mountain biking. In fact, they are no more skilled than average humans when it comes to running; and their ability to get up early in the morning is far below average (with the notable exception of Tsaiborg). As such, the BIKE GODS occasionally seek to challenge themselves by engaging in activities at which they are not the best in the universe.

The Surf City USA Marathon, Half Marathon, and 5K races presented a perfect opportunity to do just that. Not only would these races push the BIKE GODS' unremarkable running abilities, but the ridiculously early start would provide the most grueling test of all: a 4:00 A.M. wakeup time.

Having successfully surmounted the first obstacle, Air Mapster stands ready and waiting for his race to begin. In order to disguise himself from the many potential BIKE GOD fans in attendance, he uses a fake name on his race bib.

Where's WaldoMapster? He's not too difficult to pick out in this crowd, just minutes before the gun goes off. Unfortunately he didn't quite get into the right pace group in all the commotion to line up.

Air Mapster sprints out to an early lead in the third wave of the 5K race. Will he catch up to the second wave?

And he finally catches up to some second wave runners, preparing to make his move and leave them behind.

Meanwhile, at the finish line, a pair of jokers goes for comedy gold. They certainly won't be getting any race gold, as they didn't actually run the whole way. The gorilla's bib number reveals incriminating evidence at the race results website.

And just down the street at the half-marathon start, Zippy MacPhee prepares for his race by finding his pace group marker.

Back in the 5K race, Air Mapster momentarily falls asleep as he approaches the final stretch of the course. Getting up at 4 in the morning is hard!

He can see it now... time for the final push to the finish!

Air Mapster crosses the finish line in record time! That is, the time was recorded and duly noted. The crowd erupts in fervent cheers.

He may not have won the race, but this medal is still pretty snazzy. A job well done!

Next up, it's Zippy MacPhee in the grueling half-marathon. Here, we see the Zipster approach from off in the distance.

Zippy attempts to pass the runner in front of him, but her hair keeps smacking him in the face. She sure does love running!

His face is still numb from all that hair smacking, but somehow Z-Mac digs down deep and finds the fortitude and grit necessary to push forward.

Soon the miles blur together in a haze of fatique and perserverance. What's the distance now, anyway? 6, 7 miles? 10? Who knows. Zippy MacPhee maintains a punishing pace as he forges ahead with great determination.

Spurred on by the lively crowd, Zippy MacPhee begins the final sprint. It's been a long and arduous struggle; exhaustion is an understatement. But the Zipster enters a zen-like trance, imagining himself back on the bike, zipping down Mount Everest at mach speeds. And for just a few moments, he channels his biking prowess, energy, and agility into one last burst, soaring toward the finish line on a wave of BIKE GOD strength and vitality.

Flying by dozens of other runners in the final meters, Zippy MacPhee makes it a memorable finish as the crowd roars with delight. Excellent work!

Air Mapster and Zippy MacPhee celebrate a mission accomplished at Surf City USA. See you here next year!