• Zippy MacPhee
  • Russian Rocket
  • Byondo
  • Baron von Dogg
  • Roadmaster B
  • Grassman
  • Air Mapster 12

Hike Stats

Elevation gain:  2264 ft
Distance:  7.2 mi
Average grade:  13%

Past Rides

HIKE GOD Theatre

The BIKE GODS and HIKE GODS do a little dance for your viewing pleasure! Includes scenes from this week's hike and more...

The BIKE GODS become HIKE GODS for a day, as they are joined by three guests: Baron von Dogg (not pictured), Roadmaster B (master of four wheels and pavement) and Grassman (who loves to ride off-trail on grass; why, what were you thinking?).
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The Russian Rocket shows our newcomers how it's done. This first little climb isn't so bad, and the rope makes it even easier.
Grassman hopes Baron von Dogg can help sniff out some good grass to ride on. Unfortunately, B-Doggie is only able to find an old slice of pizza.
Roadmaster B is often more comfortable on all fours (wheels) instead of two, so he contemplates tackling this climb the same way.
Byondo, Boom-Doggle, and Zippy MacPhee continue to charge up the dangerously rutty trail.
The group pauses briefly while the Russian Rocket takes over photographic duties. Air Mapster attempts another self-portrait as Byondo and Zippy discuss how incredibly easy the climb has been so far. Meanwhile, Baron von Dogg diligently checks the bushes for any oven-baked, flat, disc shaped breads topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella.
Somebody said this was a nice looking tree. What?
The group quickly scrambles up to get away from that crazy looking tree.
Grassman continues the climb, following Z-Mac and Baron up the perilous and rocky slope.
Our two red-shirts aren't far behind as they use their incredible balance to stay upright on this impossible slant.
Still not going all-in on the all-fours idea, Roadmaster B sticks with his tried and true three-pronged stance.
Grassman leads Baron and the others up, up, up the staggering incline.
But soon, Zippy MacPhee jumps to the head of the pack in a near-sprint to the top. Roadmaster B stands far below, his foot tapping admonishingly at the ridiculously arduous pace. The rest of the group ignores him and charges on!
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Baron von Dogg smells something interesting here. Suddenly jumping to attention, he spies a pizza delivery boy in the bushes!
Temporarily satisfied by the pie that he rescued, B-Doggie surges ahead to lead this section of the ascent.
From this high vantage point, the BIKE GODS in the group notice that they can see the Clare Writch Wruins far below. It is clear from up here that the Writch's power is slowly dying off.
Meanwhile, Baron is growing impatient. "C'mon, guys!" his look says. There's no pizza at this location, so it's clearly time to move on.
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Roadmaster B continues to scramble up the mountain using his patent-pending three-point stance.
The rest of our party resumes the climb as the trail winds up the mountain and into the sky.
Can you spot Grassman and Roadmaster B down below? After taking a short break to write in their nature journals, our two friends hurry to catch up to the group.
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Grassman takes a moment to check out that nice grass behind him, before continuing up this massive rut.
Almost there: our intrepid squad of adventurers makes a final mad dash to the summit.
Delirious from extreme overexertion, the HIKE GODS have finally reached the peak of this treacherous mountain. Grassman sits down to study the lush graminoids (that's grasses to the lay-person) that only grow up here, at this lofty height.
Baron von Dogg wanders in search of mountaintop Neapolitan cuisine. Mmmmm...
Air Mapster poses for a photo with Baron.
Roadmaster B joyfully rolls in the grass, celebrating this monumental accomplishment of conquering the mountain. Boom-Doggle still hasn't found any pizza in this patch of grass, but he hasn't given up yet!
The panoramic view from up here is sublime. Byondo and Zippy MacPhee take this opportunity to spot the many giant bollards scattered across the cityscape below.
Our fearless troop of explorers poses for a series of collectible photos commemorating their momentous achievement. They are truly heroic!
On the way back down from the top, the HIKE GODS encounter this crude white flag of surrender. Evidently not everyone who attempts this grueling ascent is able to reach the summit.
Air Mapster, Byondo, and Zippy MacPhee stop to admire the serene beauty of San Dimas Reservoir, down in the valley below. However, only Baron von Dogg is smart enough to turn around and look at it!
Baron emerges from the grass with pepperoni and extra cheese on his breath. Another big score for the B-Doggie!
Near the bottom of the trail, Zippy MacPhee decides to test drive this used Caterpillar 950G Wheel Loader. It just might make a nice replacement for his current vehicle, but there are a few problems. There doesn't seem to be a good place to put his bike when traveling to BIKE GOD rides (the 3.5 cubic yard bucket doesn't come with a cover), and the 950G's max forward speed of 23 mph (25.2 mph max in reverse) may be problematic on the freeways. Too bad, because he was really looking forward to a new ride with 32,810 pounds of breakout force!