• Zippy MacPhee
  • Byondo 20
  • Air Mapster 20

Ride Stats

Elevation gain:  3655 ft
Distance:  22.19 mi
Average grade:  6.9%

Past Rides

BIKE GOD Theatre

The BIKE GODS do a little dance for your viewing pleasure! Includes scenes from this week's ride and more...

The BIKE GODS are at it again, this time on a new trail where they hope to set a new record.
But events continue to conspire against them, making the ride more difficult. Byondo must stop to remove this massive branch from his derailleur, hoping it hasn't done too much damage.
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Byondo and Zippy MacPhee continue on, after confirming that the branch incident was only a minor one.
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The first singletrack of the day presents many entertaining challenges, as the surrounding vegetation is exuberantly overgrown. It may look like Zippy and Byondo have stopped and dismounted their bikes to pass this fallen branch; but they actually do so in one fluid motion, never dropping speed, and swinging back onto the bike mid-pedal like a Middle-Earthen wood-elf onto a horse. It's a beautiful sight to behold, and a shame that it wasn't properly captured on video. Maybe next time!
Back on the fire road, the day's lengthy climb continues.
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This lone California Live Oak tree makes a fine break point. Not that the BIKE GODS need one, but it would seem such a shame to let this magnificent tree go to waste.
The top of the first big climb rewards our heroes with a dazzling view of the San Fernando valley.
Byondo is a little late getting to the top this time. What's the story here?
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Looks like that early wheel-branch did some damage after all. Not only did this piece break off of Byondo's derailleur, but it's also significantly bent. No worries, though; this is nothing that the BIKE GODS can't fix using their impressive bike-repair knowhow.
Soon they're back on the trail, and despite having a less than fully functioning bike, Byondo still surges up this hill so quickly that he's almost out of the frame by the time the picture is taken!
As a public service, Air Mapster checks to make sure that this porta-potty has plenty of toilet paper. He emerges, signaling that there are a full 5 rolls available.
Meanwhile, Zippy MacPhee stops to laugh at how easily he can climb the sheer face of this rock. Don't try this at home, kids!
Can you spot Byondo's distant head in this photo?
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After getting their fill of shenanigans, the BIKE GODS continue on, entering this lush rainforest.
Uh oh, somebody tipped off the paparazzi that the BIKE GODS were near LA today. This helicopter full of gawking tourists hovers in the air above, hoping to get a glimpse of these most famous mountain bikers.
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It's California Live Oak number 2, and no less deserving of an unneeded break to commemorate such an incredible living creature.
The caretakers of this trail obviously have it right: the sign instructs bikers to cut across the switchbacks and ride the narrow trail past the bridge, both of which increase danger significantly. No wimpy dismounting and walking here!
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Before experiencing the great peril of which they are eager to partake, the BIKE GODS stop to marvel at this resplendent panoramic scene. To the left we see West LA and downtown Los Angeles. To the right, a stunning ocean view of the picturesque Pacific, stretching out to the horizon.
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Zippy MacPhee decides to be a jokester and brazenly ignores the sign's warnings to keep riding over the dangerous bridge. Turning around and recognizing this, Byondo has a good chuckle.
Farther down the trail comes further proof that this is a place for bikers, above all others. The yield diagram says it all!
f33.jpgf34.jpgf36.jpg f37.jpgf39.jpgf43.jpg f44.jpgf45.jpgf46.jpg f48.jpg After setting new records for both distance and elevation gain, the BIKE GODS celebrate by spending an evening at the nearby Getty Center. Air Mapster goes nuts, taking the opportunity to get numerous spectacular twilight photos of the museum grounds and the colorful Los Angeles nightscape.
Inside, the BIKE GODS argue about which exhibit to see first. Fondly recalling his times biking across Europe, Byondo votes for photos of old cathedrals; he can never get enough of those! Zippy MacPhee wants to see urban panoramas. Air Mapster just wants to take more photos such as those above.
Inside the exhibit hall, the squabble continues. Zippy says these cathedrals all look the same. Byondo doesn't care - he loves 'em!
The dispute spills over into the stairwell between exhibits. Byondo absent-mindedly fiddles with the brochure as he berates Zippy for non-appreciation of the majestic cathedrals. He finally tears out his hair as the two have reached an impasse, as neither will budge. Air Mapster amuses himself by taking more photos.

Byondo is so agitated about the cathedrals that he looks uncharacteristically nervous while browsing the museum gift shop. Security guards think he is attempting to steal something, so they rush in and cuff him. Only then do they recognize him as a BIKE GOD, apologizing profusely for their horrendous mistake.

After hearing the story of the cathedral scuffle, the security guards side with Byondo. This enfuriates Zippy MacPhee, so he decides to buy a Van Gogh souvenir purely for spite, a fitting end to this Daylight Saving Time Eve.*

*It is said that Benjamin Franklin, who hated his family of candlemakers, created Daylight Saving Time purely out of spite, as the time change would undoubtedly cause a sharp decline in candle usage and sales.