• Air Mapster
  • Zippy MacPhee
  • Byondo 19

Ride Stats

Elevation gain:  2050 ft
Distance:  7.36 mi
Average grade:  12.0%

Past Rides

BIKE GOD Theatre

The Theatre is closed this week, but maybe you can sneak around to the back entrance and get in.

After being rudely turned away by a closure at their normal entry point, the BIKE GODS sneak around to a little-known side entrance and prepare to check up on the region's most notorious evil spirit, the Clare Writch. It's been nearly 9 years since they've been here; and yet, isn't it odd that today, of all days, the main entrance is closed? Coincidence?
Zippy MacPhee successfully slips past the border guards and makes his way down the fresh, muddy trail.
Since he wasn't here for the previous Writchcraft expedition, Byondo allows Zippy MacPhee to take the lead.
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Byondo quickly makes his way past the gnarled and disfigured tree, a sure sign of the Writch's presence in these parts.
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The BIKE GODS are stunned to find an apparent dead-end in the trail here. What was once an ordinary trail is now a frightful mishmash of dirt and shrubery on the vertical face of this hill. What could cause that?
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Turning back around, the BIKE GODS encounter the world's largest bollard. Byondo rides around just to get a better read on its sheer size. Astounding!
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Meanwhile, Zippy MacPhee and Air Mapster use this giant tape measure to determine their height. 14-15 feet is pretty impressive!
The BIKE GODS continue on, getting the distinct feeling that they've been here before. There's some strong writchcraft at work in these hills.
The BIKE GODS ride up this steep slope as far as their weary bikes will take them.
Soon it's time to give the bikes a well-deserved rest. The BIKE GODS press on, however, to get a better view of the region from the top of this massive hill.
Byondo takes the camera for a while to show off his excellent photography skills. Unfortunately, the region's writchcraft causes him to have a few problems, such as cutting off Z-Mac's head in this shot.
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More photographic bloopers abound as Byondo tries again in vain to get a good shot.
Finally, Byondo persists against the writchcraft in the air and snaps a decent shot; though we're still missing bits of Zippy in the background.
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Air Mapster resumes photographic duties and manages to document the remainder of the arduous climb to the top of this hill. Can you spy the giant bollard down below?
The BIKE GODS survey the land below, hoping to catch a glimpse of the Clare Writch House. So far today's ride has been a long series of dead-ends, twists, turns, and loopbacks. The path to the House is never straightforward, and today's troubles are a sure sign of the Writch's continuing presence.

Way off in the distance, they spot something. It's not the house that they saw nine years ago, but could it be the ruins of that very structure? This would certainly explain the Writch's apparent expanded presence in the region; without a house to contain her, she would be free to roam farther.
After mapping out a path to the ruins, the BIKE GODS start the long hike down to their bikes. Hopefully the terrain won't change before they get there.
Byondo and Zippy stop to admire the giant bollard. Even if they never find the Writch House Wruins, the bollard discovery still makes today's ride worthwhile.
The BIKE GODS resume their long and treacherous hike down to the well-rested bikes.
Zippy MacPhee rounds the corner on the way up to what the BIKE GODS now believe are the Writch House Wruins. The trail is already becoming overgrown as writchcraft in the air attempts to conceal the way.
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Byondo valiantly presses on as the brush continues to encroach on the path, leaving him little room to maneuver his increasingly fidgety bike.
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Here there's no more trail at all, as the tainted plant life has grown up in a matter of minutes to deter the BIKE GODS. But never fear, they are determined!
At last the BIKE GODS have found the Wruins. They carefully survey the site to verify that indeed this is the same house that was once standing, when they last visited here 9 years ago. Using their keen investigative skills, the BIKE GODS determine that there must have been 7 Magnificent fires that finally took down this place of evil and released the Writch to roam a wider region.
After concluding their investigation, the BIKE GODS follow a direct path to return to the parking lot. But unfortunately the Wroaming Writch has placed one last wroadblock in their way. No problem here, as Zippy MacPhee quickly jumps the fence in about one second while Byondo begins handing over the bikes.
Byondo then demonstrates his Johnsonian climbing skills as he follows Zippy over the gate in one fluid motion.
Air Mapster's the last over this obstruction, following his fellow BIKE GODS in an impressive display of climbing skill. Byondo attempts to redeem his photographic abilities, but the writchcraft is still a bit too strong here, resulting in a few misaligned or mistimed shots.
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The BIKE GODS return after a very successful ride!