• Air Mapster
  • Zippy MacPhee 24

Ride Stats

Elevation gain:  3514 ft
Distance:  20.19 mi
Average grade:  7.4%

Past Rides

BIKE GOD Theatre

The theatre will bee kept closed due to extensive mud and mileage.

Determined to conquer the Glendora Curse, Zippy MacPhee rides up the mountain with vigor and zeal. BIKE GOD fans will recall that last week, Z-Mac suffered a broken chain on this trail; and nearly nine years ago, his ride was poisoned by a bent chainring and loose pedal. Clearly this mountain does not like Zippy MacPhee, but his will be the final triumph here!
It's a beautiful day to break an old spell. Wildlife abounds, with birds chirping and bees cheerfully pollinating every vibrant flower in sight. Zippy takes a moment to soak in the breathtaking views before continuing up the mountain.
Still buzzing with jitters over his previous history of equipment failure here, Z-Mac stops to check his bike. It turns out that his anxiety was unfounded this time, as everything is in tip-top shape.
After double-checking Zippy's work, Air Mapster gives the thumbs up. We have the green light to proceed into uncharted territory.
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Soon Zippy swarms up a section of trail that he hasn't seen in roughly ten years. Just getting to this point has been quite an ordeal, but now the curse is crumbling like a piece of honeycomb with each stroke of the pedal.
Normally he would fly right over this puny gate, but Z-Mac wants to take no chances today. He gingerly lifts the bike over, ensuring that his faithful steed will survive intact. This is no time to get stung by carelessness!
The BIKE GODS are on pace for a record-setting distance today. Understanding this, Zippy MacPhee knows that the bikes will need some extra rest here, at the ride's peak. He gets our valiant worker-bees to lay down and take a break by setting an example and doing so himself (even though he obviously doesn't need it).
The view from up here is quite beeautiful!
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Rather than turning back at the peak, as any normal biker would do (thus ensuring no more long uphill climbs on the way back), the BIKE GODS have gone farther down the trail before coming back. The climb back up the peak from the other side is arduous but rewarding. It's made even more perilous by the fact that the trail passes by the Burro Canyon Shooting Park. Zippy is looking a little worn out from dodging all those bullets whizzing and buzzing by.

On the way back, the BIKE GODS stumble upon this abandoned beekeeping box. It has a battered and beaten look to it, almost as if it had spent the last decade under a powerful and evil spell. A curse much like the one that has battered and beaten Z-Mac's bikes in previous attempts to conquer this mountain.

Further research reveals in no uncertain terms that this box was indeed the source of the great equipment curse: the facts speak for themselves. On November 28, 1998, a man working for the owner of this box fell from a great height, sustaining "the loss of an eye and a tooth, a fractured left foot, and partial loss of his senses of smell and taste." These injuries are remarkably similar to those suffered here by Zippy's bikes over the years.

Clearly, the BIKE GODS deduce, this box was found to be the cause of that accident, and it was relocated to this remote destination to prevent any further damage to the owner's apiaries. The next several times the BIKE GODS rode this trail, they became unwitting victims of this box's powerful magic. Only by riding all the way to highest point of this trail, much like the man originally falling from the highest point of the apiary, could the spell be broken.

The BIKE GODS breathe a sigh of relief, knowing that the beekeeper's curse will no longer afflict riders on this great mountain.

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Despite being tired and muddy, Zippy MacPhee gleefully zips along the trail, basking in the satisfaction of a job well done.
Air Mapster stops to briefly document his part in freeing the Glendora Mountain trail. It was clearly his camouflage helmet that allowed the BIKE GODS to sneak past the beebox this time. Zippy MacPhee looks gratified.
Out of habit, Z-Mac uses the Flintstones method to cross this stream at the bottom of the trail. He's momentarily forgotten that his bike is actually in full working order today!

Just when they thought it was over, the BIKE GODS narrowly escape one final obstacle in the evil spell's last gasp. Much like the ladder that fell in 1998, this tree suddenly and inexplicably falls over as Zippy passes by. Thankfully he still has his wits about him, and he's able to narrowly escape injury. No doubt a direct hit by this tree would have left him without his senses of smell and taste, a scary proposition indeed!

With that last hurdle (literally) out of the way, the BIKE GODS are certain they have cured the region of its 10-year curse. The spell has released its proverbial stinger in a last-ditch effort to thwart them, and it will now wither away and die.

After all that, the BIKE GODS have set new records for distance and elevation gain today. Nice job!