• Russian Rocket
  • Zippy MacPhee
  • Air Mapster 15

Ride Stats

Elevation gain:  2326 ft
Distance:  13.54 mi
Average grade:  6.7%

Past Rides

BIKE GOD Mappery

f01.jpg The BIKE GODS prepare for another ride in the Crafton Hills of Yucaipa, randomly selecting this quiet neighborhood street as their starting point.
f02.jpg After swiftly climbing this hill, Zippy MacPhee surveys the vast landscape below. It's going to be a great day for a ride... and maybe a little dip in that very inviting pool down there!
f03.jpg The Russian Rocket uses an innovative technique to speed his way up to the top.
f04.jpg Air Mapster takes his customary self-portrait while the other two fiddle with their equipment in the background.
f05.jpg The BIKE GODS stop to laugh at this sign. The puny amount of radiation emanating from the equipment on this hill can't possibly harm them. As we learned many years ago, a far more powerful radiation source — enough to fry a normal human down to his underwear — was responsible for creating the first ancient BIKE GODS.

An additional benefit of their immunity to radiation is that BIKE GODS never have to worry about getting cancer. The standard treatment for any BIKE GOD cancer, as Air Mapster found out two years ago, is to simply crank up the radiation machine to 11 and obliterate the cancer cells out of existence, while their healthy tissues remain completely unaffected. It's just a shame that normal humans are too delicate for this regimen; their treatment must unfortunately be much more conservative, with lower odds of success, in order to protect the healthy but radiation-vulnerable tissues.

f06.jpg Here, the BIKE GODS have discovered a hidden treasure, guarded by ants and a little plastic snake.
f07.jpg f08.jpg Zippy points out something interesting in the distance: it appears to be some sort of research institute for environmental systems. This sparks a lively debate about what such a place might be called. A member of the old-school, Z-Mac argues that it should be pronounced as an acronym: R.I.F.E.S. But the Russian Rocket, a relative newcomer, argues that such pronunciation could sound completely different in other languages such as his native tongue. Therefore, he says, it should be pronounced as a single word: Rifes.
f09.jpg Another hidden treasure trove is found. This one was clearly placed by researchers from Rifes, as it includes a rusty old pin for Gis Day — or is that G.I.S. Day?
f11.jpg Zippy MacPhee flips over his bike for a quick adjustment, running along and never dropping speed while doing so. Wow!
f12.jpg The Russian Rocket merrily zooms down the trail.
f13.jpg Meanwhile, Air Mapster and Z-Mac seem to have temporarily lost their bikes. Where would they go? Perhaps to check out the blooming flowers?
f15.jpg Ah, yes, there they are. It's time to get back on and head up to the top of Zanja Peak.
f16.jpg f17.jpg f18.jpg f20.jpg f19.jpg Zippy and Mapster disappear into the thick flowers and brush, tackling the climb to the highest peak in the Crafton Hills.
f21.jpg In the meantime, the Russian Rocket stays behind to start a photo essay project on the beautiful and colorful wildflowers of the region. Quite spectacular!
f22.jpg f23.jpg f24.jpg f25.jpg In no time flat, Z-Mac comes thundering down the hill, exhilarated by the brutal climb that has been conquered. Air Mapster follows closely behind, using expert skills to avoid careening off the side of the mountain.
f26.jpg Sensing a presence full of greatness nearby, this deer emerges from the brush to check it out. Wildlife often consider it quite a treat to see these BIKE GODS doing their thing.
f27.jpg Zippy heads down the mountain at epic speed, using half of his trademark no-clip pedal stance to skillfully maneuver and avoid flying into those unsuspecting homes far below.
f28.jpg Down to the bottom of the mountain in a flash, the BIKE GODS stop and take a moment to reflect on the awesomeness that has occurred on this day.