Tour de French Fry

Tour de French Fry 2000

  • TsaiBorg
  • Byondo
  • Air Mapster 18
  • Zippy MacPhee 18
BIKE GOD Theatre
See Mapster's amazing victory sprint through the AirCam!

The Tour de French Fry is the most difficult and grueling race in all of mountain biking. Potato mountain offers such a perilous course that rarely does any mortal compete. In recent years, it has become a race only for BIKE GODS, and this year is no exception.

The three-stage marathon begins at the bottom of the trail leading to Potato. Its first two stages are uphill, a terrain traditionally dominated by TsaiBorg. Stage two in particular is the longest, most grueling climb known to man (or BIKE GOD). The Borg will most certainly build a lead over the other racers in these stages, but he must not relax. The third and final stage, an individual time trial, covers the terrain of the first two in the reverse, or downhill direction. Zippy MacPhee dominates this stage handily and may be able to make up all lost time if he stays close enough to TsaiBorg on those tough climbs. Air Mapster will surely come in second place in all three stages, but this does not preclude him from winning the Tour. He must build his lead against Zippy during the first two stages while staying close to TsaiBorg. Then if he beats TsaiBorg by enough in the time trial, his chances will be good.

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Byondo seems to be missing his gear today. Hanging his head in disgust at his forgetfulness, he decides to befriend the mortal human who shows interest in the BIKE GODS (yet is too wimpy to join them). TsaiBorg and Zippy MacPhee enjoy a good laugh at their expense as they prepare for the greatest race in mountain biking.
Byondo is reduced to hiking on foot with his new friend while Zippy and TsaiBorg speed away on the first stage of the Tour de French Fry.hike.jpg
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When TsaiBorg climbs a hill, all you ever see is his backside as he blazes up the steep incline at lightning speed. He pulls away from the peloton to put the pressure on early, as he will most certainly lose ground during the final downhill stage of the grueling race.
Zippy makes his way up the hill, spurred on by anticipation of the coming downhill, where he rules all BIKE GODS. If he doesn't lose too much ground now, he'll win handily.zip1.jpg
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The winner of Stage 1 and overall leader, TsaiBorg wears the yellow jersey to start second and final hill climbing stage of the Tour. Zippy MacPhee does his best to stay close until the final stage, which he will surely win. But already TsaiBorg begins making his move, sprinting away from the peloton.
See that little speck on the trail way off in the distance? TsaiBorg won't let up, building on his lead in preparation for the downhill time trial where he will undoubtedly lose much ground. This is the last time Air Mapster or Zippy will see him before the last and final stage.gone.jpg
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Zippy MacPhee struggles a bit nearing the halfway point of stage 2. TsaiBorg is nowhere to be seen.
What's this? Has Zippy MacPhee been forced to walk? The end of Stage 2 can be a killer, and apparently it was for Z-Mac. He will need a miracle now to overcome the leads both TsaiBorg and Air Mapster have on him. It looks like a two-GOD race now!walk.jpg
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Knowing he has no chance of recovering enough lost time, Zippy stops to chat about bears and monkeys with Byondo and his new friend.
Byondo and friend hike back to the finish line just in time for the closing ceremonies of the Tour.burn.jpg
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In a very unexpected move, TsaiBorg fails to finish the final time trial of the Tour. In fact, he's nowhere to be seen at the finish line. It probably would have been a close race, but now Air Mapster proudly dons the yellow jersey, sponsored by Bid Bay, as the winner of the 2000 Tour de French Fry. Congratulations!


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